"Do you think in aother life I could've been a bird?..."

current feelings: confused, broke, blessed, happy, depressed, smitten, stressed, worried, misunderstood, blah... life. i guess it's what you make of it, huh? it's been so weird for me lately. One minute i'm this and then the next minute i'm this... i'm just gonna smile and let it be. don't think too hard.

the past few weeks have been filled with surprises. new feelings all over the place. i kinda went into an "omg- i'm about to live by myself for the first time EVER" freakout mode. omg. omg. omg. breathe, whitney. i'm gonna miss that companionship, and being able to have someone to talk to and share things with--- not that that can't be done when i live alone, but ya know? and other new unexpected feelings, which could quite possibly have been a bit too premature. ugh. why must i always wear my heart on my sleeve?... put all of my eggs into one basket? and why in the world am i watching 'The Notebook' by myself at 3 am? probably not the wisest decision i could've made for myself this morning. mehr. but, ohh.. how i love ryan gosseling. he is the epitome of all things sexy and southern gentleman. ♥ don't we all just want that notebook fairytale? if only it were that easy... oh, if only.....
**so, i had a special friend request on fb today that took me to a very familiar place. a place that i miss and think about frequently. was i just young and stupid? was it for the best? i pray that what happens is for the best and i guess it has been. i just want to see you happy, and if you are, then i will respect that and be there for you as your friend. no matter how hard it will be. oh yeah, and did you REALLY answer a text from your ex on our date. red flag? i think so. stop getting ahead of yourself. psssh. giah, how do all of my friends like you already? i guess the same way i like you already, huh? oh, and word to the wise if you are reading this: i genuinely hope that you take my advice. be honest and sincere in your actions, and make the changes permanent, not temporary. or else things could just crash down around you before you know it. and thank you for your advice, and for your ears-- when i had no one else to talk to. well, almost no one else. i have the greatest friends. the best are few and far between, it seems especially for me. oh, the things life throws at you. oh, the things.... sleepy time now. hopefully to have sweet dreams. tomorrow is gonna be a good day, right?

i hope you call.