Tuesday, July 21, 2009

"Do you think in aother life I could've been a bird?..."

current feelings: confused, broke, blessed, happy, depressed, smitten, stressed, worried, misunderstood, blah... life. i guess it's what you make of it, huh? it's been so weird for me lately. One minute i'm this and then the next minute i'm this... i'm just gonna smile and let it be. don't think too hard.

the past few weeks have been filled with surprises. new feelings all over the place. i kinda went into an "omg- i'm about to live by myself for the first time EVER" freakout mode. omg. omg. omg. breathe, whitney. i'm gonna miss that companionship, and being able to have someone to talk to and share things with--- not that that can't be done when i live alone, but ya know? and other new unexpected feelings, which could quite possibly have been a bit too premature. ugh. why must i always wear my heart on my sleeve?... put all of my eggs into one basket? and why in the world am i watching 'The Notebook' by myself at 3 am? probably not the wisest decision i could've made for myself this morning. mehr. but, ohh.. how i love ryan gosseling. he is the epitome of all things sexy and southern gentleman. ♥ don't we all just want that notebook fairytale? if only it were that easy... oh, if only.....
**so, i had a special friend request on fb today that took me to a very familiar place. a place that i miss and think about frequently. was i just young and stupid? was it for the best? i pray that what happens is for the best and i guess it has been. i just want to see you happy, and if you are, then i will respect that and be there for you as your friend. no matter how hard it will be. oh yeah, and did you REALLY answer a text from your ex on our date. red flag? i think so. stop getting ahead of yourself. psssh. giah, how do all of my friends like you already? i guess the same way i like you already, huh? oh, and word to the wise if you are reading this: i genuinely hope that you take my advice. be honest and sincere in your actions, and make the changes permanent, not temporary. or else things could just crash down around you before you know it. and thank you for your advice, and for your ears-- when i had no one else to talk to. well, almost no one else. i have the greatest friends. the best are few and far between, it seems especially for me. oh, the things life throws at you. oh, the things.... sleepy time now. hopefully to have sweet dreams. tomorrow is gonna be a good day, right?

i hope you call.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

"and if i could swim.... "

yay. life is good. i love being home and am hesitant to leave. partly bc i met a guy that puts a huge ☺ on my face. and also bc i haven't spent enough time w/ my family. but i also miss my loves in tTown sooooooooooo BIG. do you guys miss me yet?? hope so. so i have had like a thousand people read this thing... shocker. although that's not too many considering i've been at this for a year now, but still. shocker... there really might be other ppl than my mom, barbie, and juju reading this. haha. oh well... i do this for me, not for you guys. but i ♥ you, none-the-less.

worth downloading:

☛ Colin Hay- Overkill (anything by this amazing man for that matter.)
☛ Artery Music- I like you
☛ Holly Williams- Three days in bed

my, my my, it's a beautiful world. i am surrounded by beauty in my day-to-day life and i lurv it. beautiful family, beautiful friends, beautiful scenery. i ☺ pretty much all the time. i just love to smile, smiling is my favorite. and i could watch Elf everyday. be jealous. i'm feeling very lovey today. almost giddy. okay, a bit giddy. who would've thought i'd be crushin' on a younger guy? 21 isn't too bad though but absolutely no younger. it's strange, the chemistry. but i have a crush. ♥ who would've thought? blow off the 6'5"/30 yr old.. and revert to the 5'8"/yr old. oh well, who cares. he makes me smile. and he totally knows this song and this band and that's like uh•may•zing. i really like the fact that he can keep up with me and my social butterfly qualities -they usually turn men off- anyone that can follow me around and never meet a stranger, make me and my friends laugh, and keep up with my social ADD is definitely worth keeping around. hmmm...

i can't wait to live alone. but i will miss you dearly. DEARLY. promise we'll still hang all the time? i just feel like this will be the first step towards a new beginning for me. i'm so scared to graduate. ugh. student loans=the devil. i miss you, too. still. always. thank you for being there for me and for offering your assistance if i needed it, preesh. i envy you. not you- Yes, YOU. you inspire me, greatly. the glow that you have now is so beautiful, i can't wait to witness it face2face. play time. ☺ suh-curity... SUH-curity... won't you be my neighbor? lol. that's gonna be a trip. i don't want to leave you yet. come visit me? 5 more months and i'll be back here. scary. if you knew, would you still love me? pinky promise? I MISS YOUUUUUUUU. i'm going to try, try, try. gonna be better.

Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for miracles. God has blessed me heavily with those. thank you for that. the power of prayer is amazing. p.s. i am going to pray for you, and hope that your faith may be restored. i'm sure most reading this will pray for you, too. lucky you. ✡

Things I ♥:
-shrimp cocktail and garlic-cheddar biscuits
-paula deen, y'all.
-comfy worn in pjs
-scent o' lil' babies
-first kisses
-big brother
-diet mt. dew
-new mixed cds
-holding hands
-reunions w/ old friends

"what's an adventure to do, but rest these feet at home with you."